Ten Tips for Saying NO!

Hey!

If you know me (which many of you may) you'll know that I'm the last person in the world who should be giving advice about saying 'no'! I'm possibly the best person at saying 'yes', even when I don't particularly want to. Probably adverse to your opinions, I AM learning... so here's my ten tips for saying 'no'.

Disclaimer: If you're a 'no' person... then don't read this. It can be equally bad if you struggle to say 'yes'. 'Yes' CAN actually be a good thing.

1. Just say it. How hard can it be? It's a two letter word, one syllable. The problem with 'no' is that it's a  strong word. "Oh here we go with the English lessons," you say, "this isn't what I clicked the link for." But it's true. Sometimes you just have to say it without thinking it through first. After countless embarrassing moments where my brain has hijacked my mouth, I'm a big believer in thinking things through before spurting stuff out... but for once in your life don't think. Just do it.

2. Don't apologise. I know, I know. I've never actually counted, but on estimate, I think I probably say sorry over a hundred times a day. And that wouldn't even be a bad day. I've literally had people threaten to do all kinds of things if I "say sorry one more time". Over-apologising is BAD! Don't do it! The natural reaction to saying 'no' is to follow it up with a sweet and sad 'I'm sorry!' ... but are you? If you're saying no to a friend or colleague because you have no time in your week, they're asking too much of you and you just can't commit to anything more without absolutely exploding... then it's ok! It's not your fault - and you don't need to be sorry.

3. Don't worry about what people will think of you. Honestly? I think this is the root of the problem for me. I'm far too concerned about what people think. Getting a bit deep here... but concerns about our personal portrayal of ourselves can be detrimental. Keeping up appearances is ok for a while - but when it comes to putting your foot down, if you're well within your rights - who cares what they think?  Well, I do. But I'm working on it!

4. Don't stress about it afterwards. Don't say 'no' and then stay awake for the rest of the night worrying that you've made a bad decision. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT! Be confident. "That's so cliché." I know. Be confident, be yourself... 'listen to your heart'. It's vomit-worthy but it's all somewhat true.

5. Be OK with it when people say no to you. This one is hard in itself... but if you expect people to be ok with it when you say 'no' to them, you need to be understanding when they say 'no' too. Enough said?

6. Sugar coat it. This can be good or bad... but it certainly makes saying 'no' easier. When I say sugar coat, I don't mean this:

"Nah, I can't give you a lift that's 45 minutes out of my way...  that's ridiculous. But I love you anyway."

I'm talking about context and compromise. Sure, maybe you can't drive 45 minutes out of your way. But maybe your place is closer to their's than the place you are now. "I'm heading home, so you can come with me and maybe someone can pick you up from there?" Everyone wins.

7. Use 'life' to your advantage. Again - not sure if this is a good one or a bad one, or if I even agree with it myself - but everyone's lives are hectic. It doesn't matter why, it doesn't matter what you've got on. If you're busy you're busy. "Life gets in the way."I don't mean that you should use life as an excuse for being busy whenever you want to be. "Sorry, I can't do that for you. Life's just SO crazy this week... I couldn't possibly factor you in." NO! Don't say this! Because chances are, your idea of 'busy' involves sitting at home scrolling through your YouTube subscriptions and friend-culling on Facebook. That doesn't count as busy. But if your life really is busy, you need time out. "This is the first chance I've had to have a minute to myself." YES! That's ok - and believe it or not, people will usually understand.

8. Don't let things get to you. This one might be similar to not stressing afterwards - but during the decision making process, don't let people throw you.

"I can't give you a lift tonight, sorry."
"Oh, that's ok. I don't have a way to get home though."
"Why didn't you ask me earlier?"
"Because I just figured you could do it."
"I can't, I'm sorry."
"Well how will I get home?"
"I don't know..."

If you're like me, you buckle anyway, because you love your friends like nothing else, and you'd never leave them somewhere alone. BUT... in a situation where it matters... hold your ground. Don't be manipulated!

9. Don't say nothing. Saying nothing often amounts to a 'yes'. It's like if you're throwing a party and you invite 50 people... only 4 RSVP'd, 2 said 'no' (don't be mad!) and you're expecting 48. If they weren't coming, they would have said 'no', right? Wrong. You can't always assume that people mean 'yes' when they don't respond, and similarly, you can't expect that it's a 'no' when you don't respond either. Don't be afraid to do one or the other. Just do something!

10. Only say 'no' to things you need to. Life's full of crazy opportunities and opportunities to help and serve other people. It's not wrong to say 'no', but it's also not wrong to say 'yes' (obviously depending on the situation!) Know your limits and know your schedule. It'll make it a lot easier.

Thanks for reading a slightly more serious ten tips. Feel free to comment and share!

Written for you by TenTipsToday :)

Ten Tips for Public Transport

Hey!

After a short one-and-a-bit hour train trip yesterday, I'm pleased to say that I survived yet another public transport expedition. And yes - even though it's convenient and good for the the environment, there's no denying the interesting, awkward and quite often hilarious things that happen on public transport. To help you through, or just help you laugh at your own horror stories, here are my ten tips for taking trains, buses, monorails... you name it.

1. Just because someone has a newspaper, bag, hat, phone, or (as I saw yesterday) small ugly animal, on the seat next to them, doesn't mean that the seat is taken. If the train or bus is busy, and you need a seat, don't hesitate to ask them to move their things. I saw this happen yesterday. A girl with a bun the size of jupiter (I'm not kidding, it looked like it's own planet!) had her things strewn across the seat beside her and a lady said, 'excuse me, is this seat available?' She rudely said, 'no' and the lady stood there for a moment before picking up the newspaper and taking a seat. I felt like doing a victory dance for her until the girl snatched her paper back and stormed off the train. Whoops...

2. Just because the council or local government says that they're putting in wheelchair access (a.k.a 'lifts'), doesn't mean they are. Never, ever rely on them to have the lifts operating, or have the lifts at all. Here's a short something I wrote on the train to remember for my journalism class after having watched a situation like this play out. It may not be funny or enjoyable to read, but it's true:

Today, as I was stepping on a train at the station, I watched a man in a wheelchair push himself out of the train, his young daughter on his lap. He moved towards an officer to ask for help up the long stairs. There's no lift, and no ramp there. I was moved by his determination as I watched him push himself out of the chair and drag himself up, stair by stair. The officer had to hold the wheelchair and watch the little girl. Not only did this compromise his independence as a member of society, but also compromised his independence as a father. Nobody should have to endure such an easily fixed occurrence in an age of technology where it would be relatively easy and inexpensive to add some form of access... 


Long story short guys? Not cool.

3. Buy a ticket. This might sound like the most basic advice ever - yet some people still don't catch on! Hear this... as a student, a ticket will cost you a couple of dollars. If you're not a student it will cost you a couple more. If you're a senior, it will cost you even less than a student. A fine will cost you over $200. Police get on and off at every second stop or so. You do the maths!

4. If you're catching the train with a group of friends, remember that other people exist on public transport. It is after all public. And so too is the information you've just shared with the whole world because you're laughing and talking so loudly that everyone around you can hear what you're saying. Now this can be annoying... but personally, I kind of like overhearing. Some of my favourite twelvie one-liners would have to include:
'You're so last week to him. Boys are like ice-cream. They melt away and stick to your feet when you step on them.' Wise words.
'I think green hair is hot. I'm getting green hair tomorrow. How do I get green hair?'
'Why did you buy that? It wouldn't even look good on me...'

5. Fights on public transport happen - laugh it off and be careful. I recently witnessed a relatively harmless one between 2 women who were fighting because lady #1 was putting on nail polish. It then escalated to lady #2 blaming lady #1 for international poverty because she bought fake nails and nail polish instead of supporting charity organisations. Police did eventually have to get involved... luckily it was pretty harmless. If a physical fight breaks out, move carriages for safety's sake - but if the police are there, people watching can be pretty interesting! Lady #2 ended up leaving, and the guy sitting across from lady #1 ended up asking her out. What a weird situation...?

6. Public transport is going to be unhygienic. Brace yourselves. Yes, you will likely be pushed against people you don't even know during peak hour on connecting trains and buses. Yes, they might smell disgusting. Yes, white clothes will likely be ruined in less than an hour. They're still people, and they're still in the same situation as you. Don't look at the floor, don't look at the ceiling. Don't try and think about who sat in your chair before you (although now you probably will). It's really not a big deal. Buy some hand sanitiser and you're good to go.

7. Always anticipate a different weather climate to the outside world. For some bizarre and unknown reason, people who run trains and buses like to make the temperate in their transport the polar opposite of what you dressed for. So if it's sunny outside, grab your coat.

8. I've said or implied it a bit - but watch people! You have no idea how interesting they are until you actually do. Trust me. It's not creepy... just be subtle. It passes the time.

9. If you're travelling, and you're using public transport, don't watch the pretty view out the window through the viewfinder in your camera. If that's the only thing you're seeing, you might as well have just looked at someone else's travel photos. Enjoy yourself! Take a couple of pictures and just watch.

10. It might be an obvious one to close with - but always leave on time. If you can't leave on time then don't wear heels, or you won't be able to run for the train in classic 'movie style'. Besides, the women who run in heels in movies are doubled and edited to look good. I promise, it won't be graceful or glamorous.

I hope you enjoyed these tips and tricks for transport. As always, feel free to comment, question and email-subscribe.

Written for you by TenTipsToday :)

Ten Tips for Mondays

Hey!

The reality is that nobody likes Mondays - at least that I know of. You've just finished the weekend, but you're only just starting to relax. There's work to be done, people to face and you're sure that the world's against you. So, to hopefully ease your pain - here are a quick ten tips for Mondays.

1. Have breakfast. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm far too disorganised to eat breakfast at least 90% of the time. Personally, I don't think it's as much disorganisation as an attempt to make a good sleep last just a few minutes longer - after waking to the multiple alarms I've set. Later in the day I realise that it would actually be nicer to not feel hugry by 11 o'clock in the morning. That's the last thing you need on a Monday. Prioritise breakfast!

2. Make a new CD or playlist for your car. When you're driving to work, school or uni you'll be so distracted by your favourite music that you won't have time to get depressed. If you're feeling really creative, decorate the CD - yes, I really do this. I have a CD called 'Christmas Tunes' with a Christmas tree on it, 'Holiday Tunes' covered in a psychadelic pattern and a multitude of 'Car Tunes' CDs, labelled 1-7, all with different drawings covering the top of the CD. Permanent markers are wonderous things.

3. In the famous words of Lorelai Gilmore - "CoffeeCoffeeCoffee". If you don't understand this reference, please watch Gilmore Girls. Your life will no doubt be a happier place.

4. Have something in your week to look forward to - whether it's Monday night or Friday night. Weekends don't count, they're happy enough! Organise to meet someone for coffee, go out for dinner, plan a movie night in. Make it something you love.

5. Keep busy! Distracting yourself is the best way to make a day go quickly!

6. Completely disregarding tip number 5, make the most of your day. Don't wish it away, don't be sad that your weekend's over. As cliché as it is, look for the good in your day and make a conscious decision to be happy and motivated.

7. Find a show you love to watch on TV that plays on Monday nights. Whatever you do, don't watch a show that's also on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Not only are those shows repetetive and boring, but also extremely time consuming! If you hate TV then rent a movie.

8. Check your shoes - are they slippery? If you're anything like me, you're clumsy most of the time. When it's a Monday and you're tired you're clumsy all the time. Avoid hazards! For once in your week, take the elevator and not the stairs.

9. Change the background on your computer or your phone. Even though you're doing the same old things, a change of scene might be nice.

10. Send someone a really nice message! Not only does this brighten up your day but it brightens up someone else's Monday. It's a chain reaction. A simple, 'Hey haven't seen you in a while. I miss you - how are you going?' will do the trick.

I hope you liked the ten tips for Mondays. Feel free to comment with your own tips and share the page.

Have a good Wednesday - and look forward to Monday!

Written for you by TenTipsToday :)

Ten Tips for Mornings

Hey!

If you're a morning person, then you're probably not going to need the following advice (though feel free to read along anyway)! This one's for all of you readers who struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I feel your pain - so here's my ten tips for mornings.

1. Set 5 alarms (e.g. 6:00am, 6:30am, 6:45am, 7:00am, 7:15am) and put the alarm device (I use my phone) on the other side of the room. If you're like me, you might like to hide it somewhere you're unlikely to look when you're half asleep. The cupboard down the hall worked well for me last week. These alarms can be set at whatever times you like - but it gives you the opportunity to hit the snooze button (who knew it was so satisfying?!) at least 3 or 4 times before you get up... and by then you're so awake from turning off alarms that you're almost ready to get up anyway! The key word here is 'almost'.

2. Have a routine! I don't know about you, but my brain kicks in at about 9 o'clock in the morning, and everything before that is like my body's on autopilot. It doesn't matter what the routine is... just have one!

3. Coffee is your new best friend. "Eewwww, I hate coffee!" You say? Drink Coke then. Drink Pepsi... even tea has caffeine in it. Don't drink too much though, or your body will literally get addicted to it! It's not necessarily even the caffeine that helps - there's just something happy and fuzzy about warm drinks in the morning. Especially in winter, or if your body thinks it's winter all year 'round like mine does.

4. Learn how your shower works. It will frustrate you to no end having to figure out your shower issues in the mornings. I have a theory that every shower has an issue - in my experience, this has always been true. My shower has a very tight cold tap, and the strong people in my family like to turn it off very hard so that it doesn't drip. I regularly take extremely hot showers or end up having to use my parents' bathroom because I'm too weak to turn it on.
Recently I went away with a group of friends, and I was very excited about the shower. Imagine a huge square plate with a million little holes pointing directly downwards. It sounds amazing, I know. NO! It's impossible to have a shower without washing your hair, it feels like a billion little needles entering your skin, and water goes everywhere every time you open the shower door. Mornings just make everything worse.

5. Don't eat weird food for breakfast. "Hey, there's leftover pizza! Sweet! Breakfast!" Not so fast. Did you just hear yourself? Pizza. Really?
I draw the line at bacon in terms of meat at breakfast time. Granted, pizza is good food and I'm all for leftovers. Wrap your pizza in tin foil and take it to work, school or uni for lunch. Your day just got that much better.

6. Invest in ugg-boots, slippers, socks or all of the above. Enough said.

7. Avoid intelligent conversation at all costs. Not conversations in general - be sociable. But don't enter political debates, or discuss current news issues. Keep it simple, or you might end up saying something you don't really believe, or something that doesn't make sense. Words like 'car park' easily turn into 'par cark' at 7:30 in the morning. "Politics and news issues?" you say, "When would that happen?!" Well, some people have interesting ideas of breakfast conversation.

8. Just because it's Easter doesn't mean you can eat 5 easter eggs and a box of favourites before you even get out of bed. Just because it's Christmas doesn't make it ok to get up at 5am and wake up everyone else in the house to open presents. Just because it's your birthday doesn't mean you should stay up until 12am to check who posted the first birthday comment on your wall, and proceed to stare at your profile for the next 6 hours to see who truly cares about you. You'll never get up in the morning.

9. Buy toothpaste you don't like. You'll start focusing on the disturbing flavour or texture in your mouth and forget how tired you are. For half of the population who supposedly 'hates' mint, you're already set.

10. Never put your keys in weird places. The worst thing about mornings is rushing - especially when you can't find your keys. If you're anything like me it would be wise to check pockets, laptop bags, underwear drawers and filing folders. Or perhaps the hat rack next to the front door. 

I hope you enjoyed these 'tips'. Feel free to post comments of your own favourite 'morning tips'.

Happy mornings!

Written for you by TenTipsToday :)

Ten Tips For Studying

Hey!

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting at uni attempting to look like I'm doing something constructive and education enhancing - so perhaps I'm not the best person to give you tips on effective studying. Nonetheless, I'm going to give it my best shot.

1. Stop procrastinating. Procrastinating has many forms, and usually it's different for everyone. Take myself for example. If I have exams approaching, assignments to do, texts to read... my room will be absolutely spotless. My car will be clean. My bathroom drawer will be perfectly organised. Everything will be labelled. Why? I think it's because I feel productive, but I can still avoid what really needs to be done. Other people I know prefer playing Xbox (far less productive!) or cooking (although I can't say I complain about this one.) Whatever it is you do... identify it. Stop it.

2. Make your notes pretty. Boys, this might not apply to you as much. Anyone who has ever borrowed my school or uni notes knows that they are usually colourful and full of interesting pictures and quirky drawings. Yes, your notes might take a little longer to make. The difference is, you WANT to look at them!

3. Study in groups! Not only can you share notes, but you can also hold distracting conversations which lead to interesting tangents that may or may not enhance your learning...

4. Pretend you don't know what YouTube is. If you're not a YouTube person, then pretend you don't know what Tumblr or Twitter, or Facebook is. This may be an extension of tip #1, but I assure you that for me, YouTube is in a completely different category to procrastination. It's a whole new playing field of distraction - like having millions (billions?) of mini video series to watch and catch up on. Did you know that 70 hours worth of YouTube footage is uploaded every minute from around the world? That's a lot of content!

5. Invest in a set of multicoloured high-lighters. Highlighters are SO much fun! You can go crazy with colour coded note-taking and memorising, and they'll help you distinguish between the stuff that you wrote down because you were getting bored, and the stuff that you actually need for the upcoming exams.

6. Study breaks! Study breaks are my favourite types of breaks. Think of your most favourite thing in the whole world, and either do it or try and replicate it in some way. If it's travelling for example, jump on a travel site and plan your next big trip - or look at photos from old ones. Whatever it is, make sure it's something that fully distracts you from the work you're doing. Depending on how easily distracted you are, this should be relatively easy. On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being "I'm on a role, I'll just have to keep studying" to 10 being "What was I doing ten minutes ago?" I'm probably about an 8.

7. Love your study space! Make the area you study in nice. It pains me to say this (truly, you have no idea how much) but my family and friends were right when they told me not to study in bed. Yes - it's comfy. Yes - it's warm. Yes - you can nap between book pages... but apparently this isn't a good thing! Personally, I study best when I'm not at home - although the uni library's not doing much for me at this moment - but for those 2am cram sessions, make sure your desk is nice. How? Well, I organised all of my pens and highlighters, put some photos on the wall and got a nice lamp so I can see my work in the dark... get creative.

8. Listen to good music! Someone once told me that it's bad to listen to music with words while you're studying. So I tried it, and it's true! That being said, none of the music I actually enjoy listening to is completely instrumental, so I downloaded some music in other languages. I know that this sounds ridiculous, but it's amazing how diverse and interesting music is when you go beyond the english language! I must admit though, the majority of music I listen to while studying or doing assignments is in english, but I do occasionally end up writing the lyrics of the song I'm listening to instead of what I actually intended to write.

NOTE: Always edit your work when you're listening to music. You never know what might show up.

9. Stop writing and start telling. The easiest possible way to study is to teach your work to someone else. This is particularly fun if you're telling someone who knows absolutely nothing about the topic you're studying, or will never understand the topic you're talking about. This afternoon someone asked me to help them with a maths question which went something along the lines of:

Prove by indiction that if A is an n x n matrix which has 2 identical rows, then det(A)=0 [Hint: expand along one of the other rows].

Although I am 101% sure they were joking due to the fact that I have an entirely unmathematical brain, I decided to give them an answer, and proceeded to draw a lovely picture of how I thought it should be answered. If I was patient enough, or listened to my own advice, I would have sat and listened to the explanation of why my answer would never be accepted by the faculty of mathematics and sciences.

10. Study a little bit lots. Even if you do 10 minutes every hour of studying for 3 hours, you get half an hour of work done and you feel like you haven't done anything!

NOTE: This is not preferable for serious study... serious study demands good solid time and good solid study food.

I hope you enjoyed the ten tips for studying. Feel free to comment with your own tips, share the blog on Facebook, or subscribe to get updates.

Happy studying!

Written for you by TenTipsToday :)